The Big 5-0

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The Big 5-0

by Jerry Dietrich
September – 2023

Warning – This article is a detailed description of a terminal illness. You may find it upsetting and perhaps you shouldn’t read it if you are sensitive.

Betty Dietrich was a runner and fitness enthusiast for over 45 years. She began running at age 34. At that time there were rarely any women runners over 30 of age competing in races. She enjoyed the camaraderie and friendships she developed through running. She was also an avid cyclist and loved Aerobic Dance and Zumba.

Her legs were very strong from cycling and she excelled at races over difficult terrain. She finished the difficult Forest Challenge on Mt Charleston in Las Vegas winning the 50 to 59 age group 3 consecutive years at ages 56, 57 and 58 before finishing 2nd at age 59. Her additional favorite races were My Better Half at Seward Park and the Y Run For Kids in Tacoma. In her mid 60’s her times began to slow drastically.

She thought it was old age creeping up on her.

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Betty’s awards wall

Then in 2014, during a routine visit with her doctor, a chest x-ray was recommended. The results showed a golf ball sized tumor on her right lung.
The doctor seemed to think they had caught it early and recommended removal surgery.

Betty agreed, the surgery was successfully performed, and she was pronounced cancer free. Unfortunately, her running continued to slow.

Then, several years later, in 2020, during her annual checkup, her x-ray revealed that the cancer had returned and had spread to both lungs. Her Doctor said her cancer was in stage four.

Immediate Chemo and radiation were ordered by an oncologist. Betty refused treatment saying “My quality of life is good. I’m running 3 miles 3 times a week and taking Zumba classes on my non-running days. Why should I subject myself to the agony prescribed. If I’m in stage 4, the outcome is already certain.“

Several months later, Betty’s personal physician detected a heart murmur. She was referred to a cardiologist, who recommended immediate surgery to repair the faulty valve. He said the only requirement was that he would need a statement from her oncologist saying that she had a life expectancy of over a year.

The oncologist’s report said Betty only had six months to live and the idea of heart surgery was dropped.

Once again the oncologist encouraged chemo and and radiation. Betty refused saying “I’m still running 2 miles 3 times a week and my quality of life is good. I haven’t lost any weight. My appetite is good. I see no reason to undergo the sickness that accompanies that type of treatment.”

Soon a year had passed since she had been given 6 months. She was still running 2 miles three times a week and eating well with no weight loss.

In June of 2022, Betty and Jerry attended the Silver Strider Mini-Series awards Party.

Betty wanted to celebrate her 49th wedding anniversary coming up in August. A trip to a resort was arranged for her and Jerry. Friends joined them for a mid-day meal during the vacation. Betty was still eating well and feeling good.

About six months later, Betty was now walking 2 miles 3 times a week. She had occasional shortness of breath when climbing stairs, but otherwise still enjoying good quality of life.

Once again her oncologist recommended treatment, this time a pill. Betty researched the pill online , read the horror stories and refused the pill. The oncologist predicted she had 3 weeks which Betty ignored.

It was now February and Betty was thinking about her 80th birthday. She told Jerry she thought he should do the My Better Half 5k race in Seattle. It was her favorite race and although she couldn’t run it, she wanted to attend and go to her favorite restaurant, the Bluwater Bistro, afterward. She knew they had outdoor seating and she wanted to mask up and go.

Betty and Jerry went to the race at Seward Park and found Betty a handicap parking spot inside the park. Betty was able to watch the runners go by from her car.

After the race they ate at the BluWater Bistro with Patty and Steve Husko, Audrey Kirkwood and her daughter, Molly Childs and Diane Martin. Patty brought three or four dozen of her homemade cookies to celebrate.

When we were in the car and ready to leave, Betty began to cry. I thought she might be disappointed that more Silver Striders didn’t show up.

She said no. She was weeping because she had such good friends and that she was happy to able to be with them that day. Then, she said I had been thoughtless in refusing Patty’s cookies. Patty had gone to the trouble of making them and I should have shown some appreciation of her efforts.

Realizing she was right, I saw the Huskos were still in the parking lot and I sped over and requested some cookies. Patty gave us a dozen.

On the way home, Betty mentioned that our 50th wedding anniversary was six months away. This was something she really wanted. Her parents had celebrated their 50th and it was a very special occasion with renewing their vows in church and a celebration party afterwards with cake and champagne. She had begun making plans in her thoughts.

May rolled around and Betty told me I should do my favorite race, The Rhody Run. She insisted that we make the trip. We made the trip to Port Townsend and stayed at an Air B and B in Port Ludlow. On race day we found a spot right at the finish line for her to watch the start and finish from our car. Afterward, we had a very nice visit with some of the Silver Striders at a Mexican restaurant in Port Ludlow.

In June, Betty had another appointment with her oncologist. When Betty returned, she told me she would not be seeing her oncologist again.

Betty said, “She fancies herself a no nonsense realist, but comes off as arrogant. She told me that she didn’t understand why I haven’t exploded a long time ago. Can you imagine a doctor using that choice of words? I told her, “I’m an athlete” and I walked out.

Time passed. Still no pain. No weight loss. An occasional painless light cough. Still walking 2 miles 3 times a week and doing household work like laundry and making her bed.

Finally, after more time had passed, the 50th anniversary was only 3 weeks away. Arrangements were made for the Fox Island Chapel and a minister. A few closest relatives from San Diego and Palm Springs were invited. A beautiful dress was purchased and a tux rented.

Two days before the big day Betty felt weak and it was decided that we needed a wheelchair and that the loving couple would repeat their vows while seated.

During the early morning hours of the big day, Betty woke Jerry at 1:00 a.m. complaining she couldn’t breath. Hospice was called and an oxygen machine was rushed to her bedside and normal breathing was restored. She seemed fine as long as she remained still but any attempt to stand brought her oxygen level dangerously low.

The chapel was cancelled and it was decided that the renewing of their vows could take place in Betty’s bedroom.

At 11:30 a.m. on the day of her 50th wedding anniversary, Betty’s closest family members gathered in her spacious bedroom. A king size bed was at it’s center and the guests stood on one side of the room, while Betty, Jerry and the minister were seated on the other side.

Betty was too weak to speak above a whisper, so Jerry spoke the words of their undying love.

After the ceremony, Laura took the out-of-town guests to lunch and Jerry remained at Betty’s side. When Laura returned, she had Betty moved into a hospital bed to make it easier for herself and Betty’s nurse to tend her needs.

38 hours later, Betty was still pain free. With Laura holding one hand and Jerry the other, Betty whispered that her wish had come true.

She made it. She made it to the big 5-0. Now, it was okay to let go.

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Thoughts and wishes from friends with love.

There is no way for me to imagine the range of feelings and grief with this loss. The entire Silver Strider community is reeling from it. Betty was always wonderful to me and I will miss her greatly….John Phillips

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I am so grateful that Betty was able to live to her 50th anniversary which meant so much to her. Although it’s very difficult to see beyond the sorrow now, I hope that looking back at the loving memories will offer comfort in the days ahead… Larry Larsen

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I was so sorry to hear about the loss of Betty. She was such a lovely soul with lots of heart and a healthy dash of humor. I will always be grateful for the warm welcome she gave my mother when she first joined the Silver Striders.
I hope you know how much she meant to my mom and me… Dana Childs

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My prayers and heartfelt thoughts are with all of you. We loved Betty dearly. She was the most beautiful, kindest soul. You would never see her without a loving smile.
I will treasure her always in my heart… Glenda Moore

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I can’t tell you how devastated I was when Tiare texted me that Betty had passed away.
To me, she was my best friend, someone I could always call and talk to. Always there with love, support and comfort. I couldn’t wait to see her and be with her.
She will be in my heart always and forever… Gretchen Ramsdell

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Our hearts break for Betty’s family as well as our Silver Strider family. We will never forget Betty for her warmth, sweetness, caring and bravery. She will always remain an inspiration to us… Cherie and Brett Langlois

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Betty was the queen of the Strider Colony. Her loss is immeasurable. My sorrow of losing Betty is far overshadowed by the joy of having know her. While petite in stature, and soft-spoken in demeanor, she had a smile and twinkle in her eye that lit up the universe. She made being a part of the Strider family an enjoyable adventure… Dennis Zaborac

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I have lost a true friend! Not many people have the capacity to love as Betty did. I feel so blessed to have known her.
When I think of Betty, I think of the word “devotion”. Betty was a dedicated friend, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor and co-founder of the Silver Strider magazine. There is no one like Betty. My thoughts and prayers are released throughout the day and sometimes at night when I wake up.
Betty’s spirit is right beside us… Tiare Bailey

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Betty and I talked every week for the last couple of years.  She was my cancer mentor when I learned I had blood cancer and helped me immeasurably when the doctors recently told me I probably have lung cancer.  The best thing was that we always spent most of the conversation laughing.  Betty was very easy to talk with about anything. She was unfailingly understanding and uplifting.  She had such gratitude for her life, family, friends and nature.  This was probably her greatest lesson to me – to appreciate every day.  As Roger said, Betty lived well and died well.  She was an inspiration to all of us facing the inevitable….. Michele & Roger Dean